The Marked Read online

  I sighed. “Actually, Anna’s having a party. Cam and I just talked about it this morning. He’s borrowing a car to drive us out there.”

  Esther’s eyes widened. “That sounds amazing. Will your grandma go for it?”

  “I don’t know, probably,” I said. Grandma, strangely enough, was always bugging me to spend more time with my friends. I think it was built-up trauma from watching me having no friends for so long. I hadn’t exactly told her about Cam, but she knew. Just last week she’d given me one of those sly, knowing smiles and asked if I wanted her to drive us to the movies someday. Embarrassing, but sweet.

  “You don’t sound happy,” Hennie said. “Why not?”

  I crossed one leg over the other and hiked up my sweatpants, studying my shins. Purple bruises marked the spots where I’d been kicked during previous games. Today’s kicks were still lumps. It took them a few days to turn black and blue. Even with the shin guards, I was always a mess after we played. “It’s at Anna’s house.”

  “So?” Esther said.

  “So, Anna’s sure to do something to ruin it for me. She hates me. She hates me more and more every day.”

  Okay, probably an exaggeration. Anna had been lying low since school started and, except for a few incidents on the soccer field, hadn’t come after me directly. But all I had to do was think about our encounter in the stairwell and I could imagine the hatred directed my way.

  “Of course she does,” Esther said. “You’re going out with her old boyfriend, who watches you with big brown calf eyes wherever you go. You’re like a legend at Delcroix. The girl who stole Cam Sanders’s heart.”

  I smiled. “Now, that I would love to believe. Seriously, though, she’s probably going to booby-trap the house. I’ll walk into the bathroom and water will fall on my head, or I’ll reach for a chip and a bowl of salsa will drop in my lap. I’m doomed! I might as well stay home.”

  “Stop that,” Esther snapped. “I will not let you get yourself into a lather about this.” Subtly, her face elongated, and her eyebrows arched just like the math teacher Mr. Crestine’s. He used to be in the Marines and liked to talk tough. “You are going to that party, and you are going to have a good time. Do you understand?”

  I drew myself up straight and saluted her. “Yes, sir, Mr. Crestine, sir.”

  “And you, Miss Khanna: a nose ring? Does that actually sound romantic to you?”

  Hennie hung her head and carefully arranged her skirt to cover her knees. This was not part of the act, but simply because she tended to panic if she exposed too much skin. I guess her parents were pretty strict. “Um, no.”

  “Of course not,” Esther boomed. “You’ll return that nose ring and buy that boy a drawing pad and pencil, do you hear me? So he can draw YOU!”

  “Yes, sir, Mr. Crestine,” Hennie agreed.

  Allie peeked around from her seat in front of me. Like me, she was wearing her Delcroix soccer sweats, but unlike me, she had her hair in adorable pigtails, with little tendrils of hair curving perfectly around her face. “What are you guys talking about?”

  “You want a piece of me?” Esther demanded.

  “Good grief, no!” Allie laughed. “You’re terrifying.”

  Esther giggled. “I know. I could have gotten you all doing push-ups if I wanted.”

  “Not me. I’m way too tired,” said Allie as she got up on her knees and turned around in her seat to face us. “So, what’s this about Valentine’s Day? Dancia got invited to an off-campus party?”

  “With Cam,” Esther said self-importantly. “But she doesn’t want to go. Is she crazy, or what?”

  Allie’s mouth dropped open, feigning horror. “Doesn’t want to go? She is crazy.”

  The bus hugged a tight curve in the road, and Allie squealed as she fell to one side.

  “Sit down in back!” the driver hollered.

  Allie sank down in her seat, muttering, “I better hear about this party later.”

  “Fine, fine.” I held up my hands in surrender. “I’ll go to Anna’s party. But what will I do there? It’s Anna and a bunch of her friends. They all hate me.”

  Everyone from the Program had been invited, actually. They had been planning to have it the week after Initiation, but with all the fuss over the break-in they decided to wait until Valentine’s Day to make sure it was safe.

  “Are you sure you aren’t just being paranoid? Why would the rest of them hate you? For instance, Trevor. He likes you, doesn’t he?” Hennie said.

  “Sorry, but no. I mean, he doesn’t hate me, but it’s not like we’re friends, either.”

  Talking a lot about Trevor and Anna was not a good idea. There were too many things I simply couldn’t explain. I searched for a subtle way to change the topic. “Hey, Esther, do you have anything to eat? I’m starving.”

  Esther pulled her backpack into her lap and rifled through its contents. She extracted a granola bar, a slightly mashed bag of crackers, and an apple. Esther always traveled with food. She claimed she had low blood sugar. I think she just liked to eat.

  “Seriously,” she said, as she handed me the granola bar, “why would Trevor be like that? He’s a decent guy, and he’s Cam’s best friend. I think you’ve just got to get to know him better. Maybe start eating lunch with them. I’d go over there with you, if you want.”

  “Wait a minute,” I said suspiciously. “Is this about me and Trevor or you and Trevor?”

  “Well…” Esther paused. “He is kind of cute.”

  “Cute?” I shuddered. “Trevor is not cute.”

  “Handsome?” Hennie offered, starting to smile.

  “Ew, no!”

  “How about striking? Mysterious? Sexy?”

  Allie spun around, her knees swiveling into the aisle. “Trevor Anderly? Hot. Definitely hot,” she said.

  “I need my aisle clear!” the driver yelled.

  Allie faced front again.

  I clapped my hands over my ears. “I am not listening to this. Esther, please tell me you don’t like Trevor.”

  Esther narrowed her eyes. “Why not? Why should you be the only one to date a junior?”

  “I’m not saying you couldn’t, I’m just saying…”

  “What? That I’m not good enough for him?”

  “No!” I held up my hand. “He’s not good enough for you. He’s scary, Esther. Haven’t you ever noticed that?”

  Esther scowled. “No, I haven’t. I think he’s a smart, good-looking guy. And I’ve noticed him staring at me, too. So I’m not crazy, all right? And thanks for the support, by the way.”

  My heart sank. Trevor was probably watching Esther, and she thought he liked her. But there was nothing I could do. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound negative. I didn’t realize you were serious about him.”

  Esther shoved the apple and crackers into her backpack. “Yeah, well I am, and feel free to tell me it’s a great idea and you’re all for it and you’re going to help me get him.

  Though I’m not sure how you’d do that. It’s not like I see you anymore.”

  I threw a desperate glance at Hennie. I’d known Esther was annoyed that I spent all my free time with Cam, and I was feeling increasingly guilty about it, but I hadn’t known things had gotten this bad. “Esther, I’m the last person to give advice about guys. You know that. You’re way cuter and funnier than I am, and you’ve had, like, six different boyfriends. I didn’t even know that I shouldn’t get Cam chocolate for Valentine’s Day.”

  “Dancia didn’t say you shouldn’t go for him,” Hennie said. “She just has a thing about Trevor. You know she didn’t mean any harm.”

  Esther hugged her backpack to her chest. “You’re right,” she said a moment later. “I’m overreacting. I’m sorry.”

  I handed her back the granola bar. “Probably low blood sugar. You should eat something.”

  She gave me a tiny, sad smile, and started opening the package. “I’m just so frustrated. Lately it feels like nothing I do goes right. Not with boys
or friends or anything.”

  Hennie leaned in toward Esther. “What do you mean? Is there something else going on?”

  Esther took a vicious bite of her granola bar. “It’s just the usual garbage. After Matt blew me off I practically begged one of the groups in my acting class to let me join in their scene for our next project, and they said no. They said they’d already assigned parts and started rehearsing. But I could tell they just didn’t want to perform with me onstage.”

  Hennie put her arm around Esther’s shoulders. “Ignore them. They’re horrible, jealous monsters.”

  Esther’s chin wobbled. “I just wanted to be in their scene.”

  Feeling heartbroken, I reached over and joined Hennie in hugging her. “Esther, we’ll be in your scene if you want.”

  Hennie nodded vigorously.

  Esther let out a long-suffering sigh, and then leaned her head against Hennie’s shoulder. “That’s sweet, but you guys suck at acting. No offense, but I’ll pass. I’d like to keep my A.”

  We laughed, though it was tinged with sadness.

  “You know you can’t do anything wrong when it comes to us,” Hennie said.

  “Absolutely.” I nodded. “We’re behind you, Esther, for whatever you want—even Trevor.”

  Given her fascination with the subject of boyfriends, I expected Grandma to want me to go to the party with Cam. Still, old people and parents were supposed to worry about this sort of thing, so I figured she’d at least be a little concerned about us driving to Anna’s together. We were on the way home from school that Friday in our thirty-year-old Volvo. Grandma had been out for a walk that afternoon, so she had on her thick-soled white sneakers and a baby blue tracksuit.

  She barely looked at me as she sailed through a red light and said, “Your Cameron will be driving? I suppose that’s all right.”

  I winced as a car blared its horn and swerved to avoid us. “Grandma, you’re supposed to stop for the red ones.”

  She kept her eyes on the road. “That man was speeding. He had no right to honk at me.”

  I sighed and waited for the interrogation about the party that should have followed. “I won’t be home until after ten,” I said, half hoping she would tell me I couldn’t go. “I don’t know exactly when.”

  “It isn’t as though you’re a kindergartner. Just be home by eleven. And no drinking. You drive that car home if anyone’s been drinking. You’re better than most drivers out there anyway.”

  Clearly, she assumed I wouldn’t drink. It was nice to be trusted and all, but shouldn’t she be a little worried about me cutting loose?

  “Cam has to ride the bus back to school after he drops me off,” I said. “They’d notice if he’d had been drinking.”

  They ran the Silver Bullet at ten and eleven on Friday night. If you left school, you couldn’t be late coming back, or you’d be locked out all night long. One of the teachers met the bus when it got to school and checked to make sure everyone was sober. This was supposed to make parents who let their kids out over the weekend feel better.

  “Who else will be there?” Grandma asked. “What about your friend Jack? I haven’t heard much about him lately.”

  I sighed. “Jack’s gone, Grandma. I told you that a month ago.”

  She shook her head, and the car swerved a few inches in either direction. A bottle of water fell down at my feet from where Grandma had propped it between the seats. Someday, I promised myself, I would have a car with actual cup holders. “That can’t be right. I could have sworn I saw you with him the other day.”

  “Maybe it was someone who looked like Jack,” I said. “Hector’s got the same color hair.” Sometimes Grandma would imagine things and then talk to me about them as if they were real. I chalked it up to old age.

  Grandma sighed. “You’re probably right. It’s too bad he’s gone. You seemed like such good friends.”

  “I miss him,” I admitted. “But it’s for the best. Jack always seemed to be getting into trouble at Delcroix.”

  “Nothing wrong with a little trouble.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, you’d be thrilled if I got detention.”

  “If it were for something you believed in—yes.” Grandma sat up straighter so she could see over the steering wheel as she turned in to our driveway. “I don’t care what kind of grades they give you at Delcroix. I wanted you to go there so you’d have the chance to learn how to use your gifts, and be confident enough to fight for what you believe in.”

  “I know, Grandma,” I said. This was a speech she had given me a hundred times before. Whether it was standing up to a bully on the playground or arguing with a teacher at school, Grandma always said, some things were worth fighting for. I’d heard that speech since I was a kid, though I couldn’t for the life of me imagine what Grandma had ever had to fight about.

  “You know that if anything does happen with Jack, or up at that school, you can always tell me about it.”

  I glanced over at her, caught off guard by her serious tone. She stared at the house, eyes watering, but before I could ask what she meant, she had tucked her keys into her purse, once again her usual absentminded self.

  “And if you have sex with that boy,” she said, as she opened the car door, “I’ll kill him myself.”

  My eyes flew open. “Jeez, Grandma, I’m not going to have sex with Cam just because we’re going to a party!”

  She just smiled a little smile and heaved herself out of the car. “Glad to hear it. Now, would you mind putting in a load of laundry? I’m completely out of clean underwear.”

  TO SAY that I obsessed over Valentine’s Day would be an understatement. First, there was the matter of giving a present. What if I did something elaborate and Cam handed me a card? Then again, what if he did something special and I gave him a bar of chocolate?

  I ended up buying him a new Mariners hat. We always joked about how gross our baseball hats were because we worked out in them. So I guess that showed how well I knew him. Maybe not as romantic as a drawing pad, but it would have to do.

  Then there was the party—and Anna. It was easy enough to avoid her and her suspicious stares when I was at school, but I could hardly do the same when we were at her house. I would have no excuse not to talk to her. And even if it sounded ridiculous, I wasn’t entirely sure she wouldn’t arrange for some disaster to befall me during the party. Yes, I was paranoid. Delcroix Academy did that to you.

  February fourteenth brought a steady, cold rain. I spent an extra half hour that morning putting on makeup and trying on clothes, thoroughly annoying Catherine. I ended up borrowing Esther’s cashmere sweater, even though I was terrified I’d spill something on it and have to babysit for the rest of my life to replace it, and I took a pair of ballet flats from Allie’s roommate Heather, who was the only one on the floor with feet as big as mine.

  I met Cam on the stairs on the way to breakfast. Or I guess I should say he was standing on the first-floor landing, one hand on the old wooden banister, waiting for me. He handed me a dozen red roses and a handwritten note on a piece of white paper. I opened the note first. It said, I’m yours. Love, Cam. I clutched the roses to my chest and stared with delight at the confident block letters.

  “Do you like the roses?” he asked.

  I couldn’t speak, so I grinned and nodded stupidly as I handed him the hat, which I’d tucked into a shiny gift bag and tied at the top with a white ribbon. After writing half a dozen notes and consigning them all to the trash, I’d given up and simply written his name on the bag.

  Cam tore the package open and pulled out the hat. “Hey, exactly what I needed!” He smiled and kissed me, right there in the stairwell.

  I wasn’t nervous after that.

  After dinner, Molly, Claire, Trevor, and I piled into the old Explorer Cam had borrowed from one of the seniors. It had beaded seat covers and the faint odor of wet dog. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Molly smiled and wished me happy Valentine’s Day, and Claire was downright ch
atty. Everyone from the Program seemed to breathe easier when there weren’t non-Program students around. The strain of keeping the secret affected us all, even if we didn’t talk about it.

  Anna lived almost an hour from Delcroix, so we had a lot of time in the car. Unlike Grandma, Cam actually paid attention to traffic signals and drove somewhere near the speed limit. He and Trevor talked most of the way down about some simulation thing they were doing the next week that involved battling another group of Program students. They discussed strategies, how to use the talents of the people in their group, and what their weaknesses were.

  I guessed it was Watcher training. Or maybe those “field exercises” Barrett had told me about. I still had a hard time imagining Cam—my Cam—as a full-fledged Watcher. So I tried not to listen.

  Anna lived in a suburb outside Seattle. There were lots of hills and huge houses that looked like mansions, all right next to each other, each with matching landscapes of neatly trimmed bushes and flower beds around the front. A few of them still had their Christmas lights up.

  Anna and her mom met us at the front door. Anna’s mom was small, like Anna, with a thin, muscular build. She had the same heart-shaped face as Anna, but there was nothing Bambi-like about Mrs. Peterson. Her movements had a military precision to them, and her face had serious lines around the mouth and eyes. We exchanged a few pleasantries, during which I had the impression she was analyzing me down to my DNA. I was immensely relieved when she moved on to scrutinizing the others.

  Cam was his usual charming self, and Anna’s mom clearly loved him. She wasn’t a huggy sort of person, but she gave him a warm smile, which is more than she gave the rest of us. I suppose she must have gotten to know him when he and Anna went out. After talking to each one of us, she told us she’d promised Anna she would stay in her office during the party, and headed up the stairs.

  The mood changed as soon as she left. Anna shuddered dramatically. “She’s so embarrassing.”

  “What do you mean? I like your mom,” Cam said.